The One

One hot topic that surrounds me recently was basically "The One". What do I mean? As people grow older, who will be the one to be your gf? At a later stage, who will be one that will accompany you for the rest of your life? Though many a times, we would like to have the companionship of someone to show care and concern to us. Have we really give some serious thoughts to the many issues that come with another person in our lives.
In the beginning, it might be easy for a guy to compromise his ways of living his life for the sake of his gf i.e. shopping when he dun like to shop, doing things that he dislikes.....etc. But as times passes by, the romance would fade away and leaving only behind traces of hurts & pains that needs time to heal. Sometimes it would be better for two to remain as friends rather than going into a relationship when both are not ready or prepared to accept one another as they are. At least, they can still be friends instead of becoming enemies.
At a later stage, people would talk about marriage. Talk is forever cheap but the price of reality is going to be very expensive. If the couple do not give really serious considerations into the new challenges ahead, chances are that the relationship will end up bitter and sour in the end.
Therefore, I would feel that unless a man is mature and sensible enough, it may be better for him to remain single. (can save a bit at the same time!!) Why is it that as we grow 'older', going into a relationship also need to plan so much ah? (sigh!!) No choice lah, standard of living is getting higher and higher in S'pore mah...haha!! Last but not least, I recently started to envy Adam and Eve. Reason being very simple, they do not have to think who's the one for them. (think abt it!!)

Blank Mind

Mind is in a blank now. Nthing much to blog about since not much activities going on right nw. Life recently seem to be occupied with work, work, Work!!! Someone just told me that a tired mind can either complain or blank. Think it's pretty true cos when working in the office, what is the first reaction when work get more & more, complain lah...dun need to think one rite!! The words will just come out of the mouth even before the mind can function/think.
Anyway, today had been quite a blessed day cos first, a pretty girl had shown concern to me on msn. (dun tink evil lah all of you!! better purify all your thoughts!!) But it's good to know that there is people who is concerned abt you especially it's a gal but of course guys are welcome to show their concern too!! (no brokeback mountain please!!)
Secondly, I received my progress package who is worth $900. Wow can help to pay for church camp and many other things liao. Thanks God for this money that came just in time...hahaha!!
Helped to lift my 'poor soul' up a little bit. Anyway, looking forward to my malaysia trip that is approaching in 2weeks time. Will get to recharge my battery during the trip cos I'm going with 3 funny persons which I believed will uplift my spirits. Yapee!!

Woman...woman

24/03 -Fri
Half-day at work hence arranged to meet up with P & M at Somerset. As usual, M was late but it did not hinder P & me from proceeding to our dinner. After dinner at Cineleisure, the two of us walked to Far East Shopping Centre where we spent the next 2hrs. (saw L too!!) The activities for the next 2hrs was very simple. It was simply shopping from shops to shops looking from clothes to accessories to bags. I can't understand how come woman can just shop ard trying clothes after clothes and not feeling tired at all. (who says woman's stamina is inferior compared to man?)
As we passes shops after shops, the opinions & comments got shorter and shorter. (basically said not BAD loh!!) The clothes and accessories all looked the same to me mah. At the same time, as the shopping duration get longer & longer, my patience limit is getting thinner and thinner. It's been ages since I last accompany a gal to shop ard like that oredi. Guess I will not make a good shopping partner but I will make a good "coffee" buddy. I can and dun mind sitting down at a comfortable place to chit-chat for a few hrs instead. In the end, I can no longer take it that I had to call mh & S to complain while P is happily shopping for her clothes. (haha!!)
Finally met up wif M and jy at 10pm where we went to cineleisure for some coffee session till past midnight. Finally had a chance to sit down , Thank God!!

25/03 - Sat
Woke up early before 7am to go to clementi for a seminar by Pastor Benny. It's a interesting seminar where many practical ideas were presented to us and benefited many of us, I hope so. Some points shared was that there is no perfect partner which many people are looking or waiting for. (maybe perhap ME!!) Also, good things are worth waiting for (future wife/husband) and one has to take many responsibiltity not only to himself but also to the people ard him. (pastor, family, mentor etc) There are many other things that Pastor Benny shared and those who is interested to find out more, pls go and attend the seminar yourself the next time. (Cos I'm abit lazy to type out lah!!) That's it for now......woman ah woman, why are you called woman?

Reflections

Been having lots of OT recently. Took a short break today to go for a short jog wif H & Eg only to realize how bad my stamina had deterioate these few weeks. Once again realized that some dreams are meant to be observed from afar and not to be grasped.
Recently many people had been talking about their goals & dreams in many different forms such as career or family. Many a times, our dreams started very big but ended up being eliminated bits by bits along the way. Statistics had shown that 90% of the population are not living the lifestyles that they are enjoying & worse still, not even feel that they are living a life still. (provided by Prof KJ Ho)
Same as my friends ard me, I'm too having some considerations abt the current lifestyle that I'm leading now. Much as I enjoyed the current lifestyle, I dun feel much motivation in the work I'm doing now. There is just so much things that I want to accomplish yet so little had been done. Should I change the way I'm behaving now or watch the way I talk??
Think it's time to go to sleep for now!!

Dreams Came True......Almost!!

hJust came back from the retreat at Pasir Ris Chalet where I finally got some quiet time to read the Bible and to get some time off from work. It was an enjoyable event for us guys where we were able to spend some quality time trying to know more about one another.
17/03 - Fri
Arrived at Downtown East with CK to met up with H who was there all alone since thur afternoon. Decided to go for some 'upgrading' process at Wild Wild Wet. There was an enermous crowds queuing at the entrance and at every different rides too. The sun was very bright and sunny but luckily the water was cooling. It reminded me of my dream that I had a few years back at Poly in year 2002. I was at Downtown East with some friends too and WWW was just newly set up. I had imagine myself going WWW with my girlfriend or perhaps some gals at least. But due to the fact that my swimming skills was not that impressive plus not too confident in water games, I had not have the chance to step into WWW. However on 17/03 this day, my lomg-lost dream had finally came true. I finally plucked up the courage to go into WWW and tried out the different stations available. The only sad thing or should I say happy was that the person beside me was none other CK. What does this show? Reality is always quite different than dreams and we just have to make-do with it. (Not much choice anyway...Haha!!)
18/03 - Sat
Spent some time at the beach doing soul-searching before Gq came to join us. Eg & Gq went to Escape Theme Park for their "romantic" time together. I went in shortly too (2 1/2 hrs later) wif my companion. My companion & I spent ages waiting for our rides for the Viking Boat. It was my first visit into the Escape Theme Park too. Also, it was my dream too to bring my gf to visit the amusement park to spend some quality time trying to enjoy each other's presence. Today my dream came true once again. What a miracle!! I'm so blessed, rite? Ck, wouldn't U agree? Hahaha!! The only difference that my dream compared to the reality was once again that it's a guy by my side instead of my gf. What to do!! Just take whatever is given to me lah!!! Dun be too picky and should count myself lucky that my dream came true...almost. Anyway the Theme Park was not really that impressive in the sense that out of the 2hrs we're in there, we only managed to take 2 rides as there were simply too many people queuing up.
Many other funny things happened which I'm too lazy to write out everything. Some includes me being labelled a "gay" by Mh and S saying I'm a "kuku" or Sean being a 'beng' etc. Whatever the case, we'd a wonderful time this wkend which had recharged me for the new week ahead.

Burning Out?

Finally got the chance to turn on my pc at home and enjoy this relaxing moments that I seldom have recently. Realized that much as I want to slow down the pace of my life, it is quite difficult sometimes cos due to my poor discipline & lack of self-control.
Fri- 10/03
Had the chance to go back to TP auditorium to catch a performance by the tp's band. Web was part of the band which was the reason that a few of us were there to show our support. Much to web's surprise, four of us (eg, Gq, M & me) turned up when he only expect one. I guessed it is very important for us to show care & concern to people ard us though they may not say it publicly.
Sat- 11/03
Did not plan any activities today but received a sms from yun for a ktv outing which interrupted my initial plan of resting. Ktv was fun with five of us (eg,gq,web,yun & me) each getting our fair share of time allocation. Met up wif the rest at Paramount Hotel for supper & was glad to hear that Mh had received Christ. Another new sister into the family. Congratulation!!
Sun-12/03
Went to play pool after service. Guess pool and ktv is becoming one of the common activities for me nowadays.

Self-reflection:
The past few days had been of much fun and before I knew it, it's back to work once again tomolo. Somehow time flies past me before I realized it. I had my fair share of enjoyment these few days which gave me the motivation to continue my journey ahead. Sometimes I want to do some things my way and I think it's God's will, what is it really God's will or my will?
Abit confused at times and need more clearer guidelines for me. Hope the retreat next week will be a good time to reflect and to think about some issues in my life. Mind can't really function right now. Think it's time to go to sleep soon.

Desires

As the Alpha weekend is approaching this weekend, the church is praying for 100 people to turn up while currently, we only had 10plus so. Will a miracle happen at the end? Are we asking for the impossible? Why are we doing Alpha over & over again? When can we ever really get a good rest? The mths ahead seem packed with many seminars that seems like a endless road to me.
Frankly speaking, my inner-self is quite relieved that Alpha is coming to an end soon and I can finally let go of some of the responsibility. So far, I had not been able to get anyone to come for Alpha wkend. Though dissappointed, I know deep inside in my heart, there are just so many mixed thoughts that are battling at this moment. What is truly one thing that I really desire? Do the salvation of others really mean a lot to me at this point of time? Had I really put in my best in preparing, inviting, presenting and most importantly, PRAYING?
Sometimes our prayers for candidates or any other things in our lives are not answered, why is that so? Have we checked whether the prayers that we pray comply with God's way? Or rather we still want to do things our ways? Have we really prayed hard enough or are we busy with our own lives that we simply had no time to care about others except ourselves?
Right now, there is just so many questions that need to be answer but one thing I know for sure, God U will always provide a way out through times & situation may seem difficult and tough. Terror times is just to draw us closer to you and to see your magnificant hands at work. Last but not least, I prayed for a obedient heart that will do things your ways not my way; Desires for your Kingdom not my own pleasures; and also a caring & compassionate heart to care truly for the people ard me. (Hopefully not for gals only but also a bit for guys lah!! Haha!!)

Two Choices

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question:"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"The audience was stilled by the query.The father continued. "I believe that, when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."Then he told the following story:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.
Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay"Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third" As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world.Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
FOOTNOTE: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

Inside or Outside?

As I waited for my computer to update the new system, it's a good chance for me to think about the things happening for the past few days. Life is still so unpredictable and we'll never know what's going to happen the next moment. Called it a coincidence or fate, I managed to meet up with cs who seemed to somehow appear in my life since secondary sch to Poly, followed by army and now even in church (hopefully he continue to come). Yes people, it's a guy I'm talking about here and not a gal. (Sorry to dissappoint u all ah!!)
Never really had a good rest for the past few days due to too many activites going on in my life at this moment. My last weekend was spent mostly at PS and I had the good fortune to taste the different food there which include Secret Recipe, Swensons & the Food court. Had two separate Alpha session for sat & sun over at PS with friends of wm. It's great to see the faith of wm growing everyday which is a great encouragement for all of us. Also, the experience was different each time. Reason being very simple. One I'm just the supporter on sat while for sun, I'm the presenter.
Many times in our lives, we often take on the role of an outsider which is often the case. We are looking at things superficially and never really go in-depth into it. Are we really able to learn just by looking or listening? No way!! The best way to learn is always to have the courage to take the first step to start doing and thereafter, we'll be able to fully understand the whole thing. Life is a continously learning process and everyday is a new experience for me.
Let's hope that everyone of us will continue to walk each day of our lives trusting God to be inside our hearts and not just be a outsider of God's kingdom. And with this, I will end this story with every Christians saying: "Amen!!" (Hahaha!!)

Whispering Sound

Tonight was spent travelling from places to places eating non-stop. First met up wif ck,james,henry & cs to have our dinner at the food junction at Raffles city. Proceed to Ya Kun for some coffee and breads while waiting for eg. Went to Burger King for Eg's dinner, followed by a glass of red wine at chijmes. Is that the end? Of course not, conclude my day wif some pratas & teh terik at Katong area. Impressive rite?
Had a interesting conservation with L at chijmes earlier and realized about how gracious God had been to me all this while. My prayers for taxi had been very effective all this while. Not that I want to boast, but surely there must be someone great behind all this happenings. Another thing I realized was how clearly and direct God had been to me all this years.
One thing I always ask of the Lord was for that someone special to appear in my life. But if someone is to really appear right now, would I go all out for it? Would I be able to brace up all my courage and to overcome all the obstacles in front of me? I may not which is often the case. The reason behind it was not whether I am a coward or I'm scared of losing all I have. The main reason is because God had always been by my side all this while and helping me to make the correct decision.
He always stop me whenever the direction is wrong and prevent me from probing further into the mess. His guide for me was always so personal and straight to the point. Though there may be times of disappointment and disouragement, also I might not understand His reason behind it. One thing I'm sure is that His plan is always the best. If His spirit would not go with me, I would not go ahead on my own.
Many a times, we often want to do things our ways which often made us ended up with a worse situation. Just like the Bus 14 incident on wed, I heard a sound telling me to go take the train, yet due to my stubborn nature, I decided to take the Bus instead. The result was that it took me more than 1 hrs to get to my destination. Just like the Israelites who took 40 years to reach the promised land, would we want to make the same mistake as them. Are we so foolish that we're not able to learn from the mistake that our ancestors had committed?
The point I would like to share here is that don't be too anxious about what we want, rather trust in God all our worries & needs and to place Him as the centre of our lives rather than focusing on our wants. The time will come if it's meant to be and don't try to force too hard or the results might be worse. At the same time, we need to check whether we're ready for the things that we want or not whether be it relationship, career etc.

Long Journey

Arranged to meet wif ck & Eg at IKEA yesterday after work to shop for eg's birthday present. Took my mentor's advice to take Bus 14 from Tanah Merah to IKEA which turned out to be one of the interesting ride that I had for the past few years.
As the Bus travelled along East Coast Road towards Katong, it reminded me of the times that I had during my primary sch as I used to live ard Marine Cresent. Long forgotten was the simple, cheerful and innocent moment that was once found in my life. Looking at the Primary sch kids alighting at various bus stops & looking at the latest hp model on their hands just made me wonder how life for kids are so different from my times.
When the journey continued from Katong to Kallang, the scenery of the houses besides was such quiet and peaceful which makes me envy of their relax times which the family can spent playing with the kids at the garden. What could one possibly ask for more than just some sweet memories with their families?
At the journey continues towards City Hall following Somerset, the scene seem to change from a kampong village to a modern city with lots of vechicles storming everywhere as if rushing for their lives. Reminded me of the situation that most of us people are facing everyday. We are so hurried in our daily lives that we simply had no times to take a closer look at the things around us e.g. our families, relationships, friends etc. What's the meaning behind all the rush, have we ever wondered?
After Somerset towards Bukit Merah, my sight became blank suddenly. Everything seem to become so blur and unimportant to me. My mind could not think anymore. What had happened? The reason is mainly because I had almost fallen asleep at this point of time. It had been almost 1hr 20min since I boarded the Bus 14. If not for the fear that I might miss the stop, I believed I would be playing chess wif "Zhou Gong" oredi.
The conclusion I got from this trip was that it would be much faster for me to take a mrt instead of taking Bus 14. This is what I called experience. Experience is always accumulated through painful and sad encounter which is the reason that it is unforgetable and memorable.

Rejoice!! Again I said rejoice!!

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perserverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not dissappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
Roman 5:3-5

Left my workplace at 1pm on tue morn after my mth-end closing. On PM last night. I could barely keep my eyes open. Regardless, the message shared yesterday was an inspiring one about prayers. The wonder of prayers if only we could just have a little more faith.
Changes is always around us and there are just so many things that ae beyond our controls. We can think, plan, organize but it is God who has the last control over everything. For it is written: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lead not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths"
For all our friends who are facing changes in their lives, I prayed for the spirit of joy to safeguard your hearts so that you can rejoice in the midst of changes. Lastly, for L who is moving house soon, I knew you can't part wif ur doggie, but don't be sad lah, u still have us by your side. Surely we are more precious than ur doggie (I hope), if not more interesting definitely!!! Have a blessed week ahead and it's time for work once again.